Rediscover What Matters

February 19, 2012

Lavender and The Bee- I took this picture several years ago when I was in the San Juan Islands. We were on a bicycle tour when we stopped at a Lavender farm, where there were hundreds of rows with Lavender blowing in the wind and bees feeding. It was perfectly calming and reminds me to appreciate the small stuff. And, Happy First Monarch Birthday to our swimming extraordinaire’s, Jane Hayman and Carolyn Kilday!

“The mark of a great man is one who knows when to set aside the important things in order to accomplish the vital ones.” ~ Brandon Sanderson

Action: Stop for a moment and breathe- then evaluate your daily thoughts and actions and determine if you are spending time on what matters, the most.

By Neissa

To think that we celebrated the New Year only seven weeks ago really blows my mind. Honestly, I feel like it’s been forever since I rang in 2012 and enthusiastically set out to accomplish my goals. My pursuit of achievement did start out focused and disciplined, but of course once the holidays came and went, life got busy and I have yet to fulfill the expectations I set for myself. In fact, I have felt very frustrated and somewhat frantic due to my hyper focused need to cross things off my perpetual list of personal and professional to-dos. I’m spinning again and back in the hamster wheel which was definitely not my vision. So, the big question is how did I get back on the unsatisfying treadmill so quickly and how do I get off? Thankfully, God intervened and after listening to a tremendous sermon series, which was humbling and painfully revealing, as well as an encounter with a reality show (weird, I know), I realize I need to stop and rediscover what matters most.

Discerning what matter the most for me is easy. Without hesitation and on paper, I can say that my faith, family and friends are what’s most important and my New Year goals did reflect this. However if I’m honest with myself, my actions and time do not reveal this at all. In fact, if I were a stranger and was on the outside looking into my life, I’d say that what matters most to me is my son, my work, and the satisfaction of achievement. Fortunately, work (iGnite) is intertwined with friendships, so that’s really awesome, and my son does fall under the family category, but what happened to faith, my supposed number one priority, the rest of my family, like my husband, and enjoying friendships outside of work?

I have given myself grace over my mismanagement of priorities, but it’s important that I determine how and why I so quickly let things get turned upside down. My discovery is two fold: I am allowing our busy culture to dictate the speed of my life and second, I am measuring my success by societal standards, which for me is to always want more, hence, my brain stays busy, therefore I am never satisfied. So, now that I know this, what in the world have I done with this information?

I am going on a whopp’in one week with my revelation, so I’m hardly a pro and am extremely susceptible to failure, but my honest answer is prayer (an actual priority- imagine that!), because it’s literally going to take a divine intervention to change my heart and habits. Unlike before, rather than spend time in bed writing my to-do’s for the next day, the to-do list stays outside of the bedroom and my prayers begin as soon as I get in bed, and in total silence. Because my brain has been so busy and my spirit has been unsettled, I am praying God would take away my worries away and grant me a peaceful mind and spirit. Needless to say, I’ve been blown away because my sleep has been tranquil and because I am prioritizing my faith, everything else is falling into place too. Jim Rohn, the late motivational speaker says this about living well, which is also a great inspiration for discovering what’s important.

One of the major reasons why we fail to find happiness or to create unique lifestyle is because we have not yet mastered the art of being.

While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed with solving the challenges we face at the office. And when we are at the office we find ourselves worrying about problems at home.

We go through the day without really listening to what others are saying to us. We may be hearing the words, but we aren’t absorbing the message.

As we go through the day we find ourselves focusing on past experiences or future possibilities. We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we never even notice that today is slipping by.

We go through the day rather than getting something from the day. We are everywhere at any given moment in time except living in that moment in time.

Lifestyle is learning to be wherever you are. It is developing a unique focus on the current moment, and drawing from it all of the substance and wealth of experience and emotions that it has to offer. Lifestyle is taking time to watch a sunset. Lifestyle is listening to silence. Lifestyle is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new part of what we are and of what we are in the process of becoming. Lifestyle is not something we do; it is something we experience. And until we learn to be there, we will never master the art of living well.

Remember at the beginning of the journal when I said I was inspired by a reality show? Well, the show is on TLC and is called 19 Kids And Counting, which is about the Duggar Family, who have 19 children. Don’t get me wrong and please hear me out, I have no desire to have nineteen children and do think their lifestyle is a bit extreme, but I really admire their ability to remain true to themselves, not fall prey to societal pressures and keep things really simple, which I can’t imagine when having a family of twenty-one. All in all, they seem to have mastered living well and they remain focused on what really matters, to them, which is family and faith, and I applaud them for that.

So, in the event you have been spun by the wheel of life and are feeling a bit whoozy, I encourage you to take the time to rediscover what matters. Then, when you do, create a plan to prioritize these people/things, even if it’s not popular by your neighbors or society. After all, this is your life and you have to do what’s best for you and your family. And if you need inspiration, just watch the Duggar’s. Seriously, they’re awesome, and maybe that means I’m crazy, but I’m ok with that.